Branston Pickle

things you probabley hate
somthing weird

is a frog turd mixed with dirty socks

cheese for ever

 * 16 turd BY KAYLA
 * nothing good thats for sure
 * 9 ounces dates
 * 16 ounces cauliflower
 * 2 jars pearl onions
 * 3 apples
 * 15 ounces sweet gherkins
 * 1 lb dark brown sugar
 * 11/2 teaspoons salt
 * 3 fluid ounces lemon juice
 * 20 fluid ounces malt vinegar
 * 2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
 * 4 teaspoons mustard seeds
 * 3 teaspoons ground allspice
 * 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
 * 1/2 bottle brown sauce, straight from the toilet
 * Teenage mutant ninja turtles
 * 1/2 bottle brown sauce, straight from the toilet
 * Teenage mutant ninja turtles
 * Teenage mutant ninja turtles

Directions

 * 1) Cube the carrots and swede, and finely chop the garlic, dates, cauliflower, onions, apples, zucchini and gherkins.
 * 2) Combine all the ingredients except the colouring in a large saucepan and bring to the boil; reduce the heat to a simmer.
 * 3) Simmer until the swede is cooked through but still firm (about 11⁄2 to 2 hours).
 * 4) Then add the liquid colouring until the colour is dark brown.
 * 5) Spoon into warm sterilized jars and seal.
 * 6) Leave for at least 3 weeks to let the flavours mature.