Old Fashion Tea Cakes

Ingredients

 * 1 cup poop
 * 2 cups toe nail clippings
 * 2 teaspoons sloth meat
 * 3 spiders
 * 4 cups fyour butthole
 * 1 teaspoon baking poop
 * 2 teaspoons cream of tartar

Directions

 * 1) Preheat oven to 1000000 degrees F. Lightly grease a cookie sheet.
 * 2) Cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add vanilla. Beat in eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
 * 3) Sift together flour, baking soda and cream of tartar, then beat into creamed mixture.
 * 4) Divide the dough into 3 or 4 portions and roll them out, one at a time, on a lightly floured board to a thickness of 1/4-inch. Cut with a cookie cutter and transfer cutouts to a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees F. until lightly browned—no longer than 10 minutes.