The Chicken Thing

Description
Not strictly Thing, nor Chicken, but instead a multicultural fusion dish which is deceptively simple to make, using the ingredients one may have left in the fridge on a Sunday evening before you leave for a holiday. Can be made as a simple snack, or comfort food to calm someone's nerves.

Ingredients

 * Chicken, preferably close to the use-by date.
 * Risotto rice.
 * A boyfriend's loving attention.
 * Mushrooms.

Directions
Two people are recommended for this dish.
 * 1) Begin by clearing out the fridge before one goes on holiday.
 * 2) Note that chicken will go off.
 * 3) Add stress of that to considerable stress caused by seeing Grandmother.
 * 4) Stress out.
 * 5) Second person will grab the shoulders of the first person to comfort them, and offer to make this dish to utilise chicken.
 * 6) First person will retreat into room to await food.
 * 7) Second person will do whatever one does when making a risotto.
 * 8) The dish will be delivered to the first person to successfully calm them down.
 * 9) Ad infinitum.